Sunday, June 19, 2011

Getting feedback is really difficult!

I have posted on three different writers' forums asking for feedback and I find it very frustrating that I have only had one response on one site.  Though incredibly grateful for that one response, I wonder what it takes to get more?  I can take it, honestly, I would love for somebody to just tear my work apart (in a constructive way of course) just so I know where the pitfalls are.  I realize more each day how completely naive I was about this entire process.  Fortunately, it is very early in the game and I feel strongly about the book I have penned - and I love my characters! 

Speaking of characters, here is a little tidbit from Fall of Ia regarding one of my favorites, Kitin meets an interesting new ally in this excerpt:

“Seraph, we know you.  Well met we are for true.  Fear not for we wish no harm, we offer protection and alliance to you and yours.”
Kitin stood and spun about, searching the forest for the speaker.
“Lay your weapons upon the grass and we shall appear to you.  Trust given is trust received.  We have power to aide you if you have courage to treat with us unarmed.”
Kitin felt no malice in the immediate area.  She removed her scabbard and cast it aside.  “I agree to your terms.”
From within the creek there rose a stream of water that slowly took shape until Kitin found herself eye to eye with a pair of slanted grey-blue eyes swirling like a whirlpool, offset by a slight nose and pointed chin.  Clearly a male Water Nymph, she guessed.  His skin was nearly translucent, water dripped down his features from a head full of aquamarine hair spiked about in every direction.  Kitin held his gaze and he smiled, revealing bright white teeth behind his blue-tinged lips.
“We are of the Water Nymphs of Estelan.   We are called Xander, the youngest Princeling of our kind.  You are the female warrior Kitin.  It is rumored that you are still without mate, without a lover at all.  Is this true?  It would please us greatly you understand.”  Kitin was nearly mesmerized by his velvety voice, words spoken in such rhythm that if not for her Seraph blood, would have been entrancing.
“I have no mate, though I do not wish one either.”  Kitin took a step back, far too uncomfortable in such close proximity to the Nymph, who almost too beautiful.
“Ah, then we are very pleased indeed.  We too are children of Ia.  We too look for mates to enrich the lines.  You are quite the female Kitin.  We should truly perish in your honor.”
Kitin stifled a gasp as best she could, “Freya mentioned that you wished to align with us, or are you here just to court my affection?”
“We are here to give you word of the borders of our world, a warning of evil to come, a promise of hope, and our aide in this until the end.  You will not like much of what you hear and understand little of the rest at this time.   Do you accept these terms?”
“I accept.”
“Darkness is creeping along the borders of all Estelan, a dark haze is billowing along the Divide.  Creatures of evil patrol the great chasm, each merciless and pitiful, seeking to capture any  who attempt to ford the Divide.  We feel hope for the great Light has been promised to arrive soon,   expected to be battle ready in six and ten annuals.  We will vow to stand with you until the end, to align with Light in all ways possible.”  Xander bowed and then raised a hand to her arm, travelled down to her wrist and turned her hand palm up.  “You bear the mark, you hold the power.” 
Kitin swore she saw him lick his lips but she was distracted by a prickling at her wrist.  She looked down and saw a bright blue droplet glowing upon her wrist.
“This is our vow.  Call as you need us, or want us, fair Kitin of the Seraphs.”  And then he was gone, exploded into a million droplets.  Kitin moved to a nearby tree and leaned for several moments, staring at the glowing droplet.  As she traced the outline, Xander’s voice entered her mind, call us our Kitin, we will run to you, and then she was alone in silence.  Kitin took up her scabbard and made for camp.  It was time to move and she finally knew where to start. 
“Freya, I know you are there.  Gather the Pixies and be prepared to leave within the hour.”
“I would not tell Master Roane of what transpired here m’lady.”
“I would keep this between you and I alone, Freya.”
“As you wish, Lady Kitin, perhaps you should don your gloves before reaching camp.”

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