WOW

I have been hard at work on my paranormal romances and have to say it has been thrilling!  If you are interested in the Emerald Seer Series, please check my blog at http://emeraldseer.blogspot.com for more on how my first two installments are doing.

Back to Estelan, I am still re-working it and the breaks have been very refreshing.  Every time I look at it with "fresh eyes" I find a new tweak or slightly different spin that makes the story that much better.  I love it, am passionate about my characters and wishing I had just a little more time to write - and less time at my awful job!  Some day, I swear, some day I going to at least cut back to part time work so I can devote more time to writing.

Anyway, I just hopped over here to say Happy Holidays and give an update on how the writing is coming along.  If you get a new Kindle (or if you already own one!) take a chance and download the Emerald Seer Series by Violet Patterson.

Still on hiatus

I am actually re-working Estelan still but I am still working the edits for my paranormal romance - Light My Fire/Emerald Seer #2 - so that I can release it before Christmas.  If you are interested in my paranormal romance series, please check out my sister blog that focuses on the Emerald Seer - http://emeraldseer.blogspot.com/.

As for Estelan, I have stripped out a lot of history and segregated it for a potential stand alone novel.  I am focused on my main characters and looking to expand their experiences, their stories without cutting much away.  I still have the first 50 or so pages of the sequel to Estelan and feel pleased with the general rhythm I have set, my re-working is more of a fill in and expansion as I have been informed that the story is good but needs to be filled out some - if those are the only criticisms I get, I will take them!  For those how know me personally, talking/writing MORE is never a problem! 

Cheers!

Minor setback - well I think it is minor

I participated in NaNoWriMo so I wrote the sequel to my paranormal romance during the month of November which in turn meant a hiatus from Estelan.  Well, it is now December and NaNoWriMo is of course over so I settled down to work on Estelan and found myself feeling disappointed.  Why?  Because I realized just how much re-working is needed.  Let me rewind, I have a completed first draft for Estelan, I have edited twice, passed it out to a few people to read, re-titled it (it was Fall of Ia) and removed a good portion of the initial introduction.  So back to last night, I opened my file and settled in to write once the kids were in bed only to find that I still am not pleased with the beginning of my novel.  In a bit of a panic I skipped ahead a few chapters and started reading another character's POV and felt good about that chapter.  In fact, I felt good about several chapters that I perused beyond that.  I am simply dissatisfied with the intro and I am not sure where to actually begin.  Needless to say, I did not accomplish much more than staring at my laptop screen last night.  Ugh.  I am ready to start fresh today, hoping it will just come to me as so many other things have.  My goal for Estelan is to have a final manuscript ready to send out by February, I have set smaller goals for myself to facilitate the process (with fabulous rewards for each mark I hit!!) in hopes that I will be more successful.  Of course, in conjunction with marketing my paranormal romances, working FT, and being a mom it is going to be somewhat challenging :)  Wish me luck!

NaNoWriMo!

I did it!  Check out my other blog - Seers, Seraphs, and More for more on the Emerald Seer Series.  As for Estelan, I took a bit of a hiatus for NaNoWriMo but fully intend to get back on it, especially with my sequel in editing mode.  My passion is still Estelan, I believe in it, I miss it, and I am ready to return to that world with fresh eyes.  Look for more on Estelan soon!

Taking a minor hiatus

But feel free to check out http://www.emeraldseer.blogspot.com/ for updates on the Emerald Seer series since I am devoting the rest of the month solely to Light My Fire/Emerald Seer #2 for NaNoWriMo.  I have not given up on Estelan, and I miss it but for many reasons I feel this is right for me.  See you all in about 20 days!!!

NANOWRIMO

National Novel Writing Month - I am SO in!  The motivation should just about put me over the edge for my sequel to Ryder on the Storm - Emerald Seer #1 and then I can really get back into my Estelan series.  I am still re-working Estelan and have decided to remove some of the history from the intro.  That said, you will be seeing some Estelan history popping up on my blog!

Sorry this is so short but I have a lot of writing to do!!!

Teaser - Estelan

The Priestess

Shai awoke in a cold sweat, fear caught in her throat like the silent scream she couldn’t sound.  Standing on shaky legs she wobbled over to the small porcelain wash basin in the corner of her tiny room.  The cool water smelled fresh still. Her sleeves fell into the bowl as she splashed her face.  Sighing, she methodically re-rolled them and wiped the water from her face with a thin towel.  Surveying the room brought Shai back to reality.  The thin, woven rug beneath her bare feet did little to block the chill.  She hopped onto the thick bearskin that covered the middle of her room and scurried into her bed beneath the heavy down quilts.  Reality.  The walls of the Moon Temple.  She could not remember life before becoming a Priestess. 

Small, even among the Priestesses, Shai’s robes had to be shortened, bound, and rolled in every capacity.  She even pinned them at the shoulders to compensate the wide neckline.  No matter how heartily she ate, in spite of the extra vitamins after prayer, Shai could not make gains in height or breadth. 

Blowing a tuft of unruly silver hair from her face, Shaie pulled her knees up to under her chin and rubbed her kneecaps through the waves of cotton.  What she wouldn’t give to be just a little less skeletal, to have some minor curves instead of the body of a young lad.  Asa and Kriya reprimanded her vanity constantly but it wasn’t vanity, not really, she just felt so small and insignificant, and, well, weak.  Shai could not draw water from the well or work the laundry press, she struggled to clear the tables on dish duty and needed both hands to carry the pitcher of tea at meal time.  Certainly her sisters were too pure to resent her but Shai hated not pulling her weight.  Chuckling at her own joke, Shai pictured Asa’s reprimanding look.  There were no mirrors in Temple so she certainly was not standing around looking at herself and yearning for a body.  She didn’t even know what a woman should look like since all of her sisters wore the same shapeless white robes.  Shai just felt small.  The nickname ‘wee one’ did not help either.  Not that her sisters were cruel, it was against the very foundation of their faith, but she still felt wrong somehow.  Nobody knew how old she was, who her parents were, where she came from, Kriya could not even tell if or when Shai had transitioned. The thought of being stuck in such an insignificant body for the remainder of her long life seemed the worst part of it all.  Every day at prayer she asked Muna for her transition. 

Splitting the blog

Now that Ryder on the Storm is available and the Emerald Seer Series is taking off a bit (slowly but surely), I have decided to split the blog and keep Creating Estelan true to my Estelan Series.  If you are interested in following the Emerald Seer Series (and I sure hope you are!) please check out my sister blog for Violet Patterson's Emerald Seer Series (Seers, Seraphs, Immortals, and more!)

Thanks for all of the support!!

Here here for the sequels!

I am alternating nights these days - editing Estelan, writing Echo Rising, and writing Light My Fire. Admittedly I occasionally get into a groove and spend two or three nights in a row on one project, but changing things up has surprisingly given me some continuity that I didn't have before. I am more motivated and making decent progress. I still intend to have Light My Fire out around Christmas and am truly pleased with how it is shaping up. In truth I am even more excited about Echo Rising because it is allowing me to explore some action sequences and really delve into my characters, especially those I am most in love with. I guess that is the point of my title today. I really am enjoying my sequels, they are so darn much fun. But then again, for me writing is just plain fun, otherwise I doubt I would get so giddy when i flip open my laptop or netbook.

Thanks to my "inner circle" of readers and critics, it means the world to me that you have taken the time and put your faith in me.

Ryder on the Storm - Emerald Seer #1

I crossed a threshold today, not in the way I hoped or dreamed but I suppose that happens a lot in life. Regardless of how it happened or that it is not Estelan, I sold my first book and that is so exciting for me. It has taken me a long time to figure out what I want to do with my life - aside from being a mom! - but I think I am finally on the right path AND walking in the right direction, even if I am a little slow and unsure in my footing. There are not words to express how much it means to me that I am getting such amazing support from my family and friends - you know who you are and I thank you for putting up with my rants and frustrations and exhaustion after staying up too late writing or editing to say nothing of my refusal to answer questions that would give away too much of the story yet to be written. I am working on the sequel to Ryder and continue to rework Estelan. I hope to have another draft of Estelan ready for re-reads by the end of the year and Light My Fire - Emerald Seer #2 should be uploaded through B&N by Christmas. I hope everyone will be pleased with the results and if you haven't bought the eBook for your iPod/iPhone/PC/laptop/netbook please stop in to B&N.com and get it - just $1.99 and the app is free!!

Happy Halloween

Amazing weekend, family fun abound - trick-or-treating, pumpkin carving, football with a Texans win - priceless! I had a spectacular time and saw my first book go on sale to boot. How lucky am I?

Right now we are watching Coneheads, the kids first experience with them, Hahahaha. There are so many small stars in this film, it is insane! The kids are fascinated! I have to confess that I forgot how entertaining it is.

Taking the plunge

I did it.  I actually dove in head first - something I haven't done since before I had kids - and submitted RYDER ON THE STORM to Barnes and Noble's PubIt.  I feel very good about my decision and am pleased to be starting small.  In the end, as I discussed before, I grew tired of the agent/publishers game because I just want my books to be read and I am somebody who learns best by doing - so I did.  I am hoping for a lot of support from family and friends over the next few months and maybe a few positive reviews!  Thank you to those who have supported me through all of this.  Look for my book (under the pen name Violet Patterson) in the next few days! 

Soapbox moment - bullies suck!

So, it has taken far too long for my kindergartener to have the courage to expose some kids who are bullying him at school. He thought that just because they weren't violent or physical with him that it didn't constitute bullying. He was also scared because they are older kids. What is wrong with kids? I mean fourth graders picking on a kindergartener? Really? Does that make them feel tough?

What kinds if things do they do? Um, told him he looks stupid in his baseball cap, took his hat off his head and tossed it around, picked at his backpack, jumped at him and scared him, and in general mocked him (expressly his name). My daughter witnessed it this week and convinced him to tell me. I am proud of them both but when I asked my daughter if they ever messed with her she said "no, not really." It kind of makes me wonder if they are picking on the kid who won't speak up (my son has a speech delay and my daughter definitely could not be more outspoken). I get kids are mean, I remember, but I don't remember it ever being cool to pick on a kindergartener.

I place a lot of blame with the parents. It is their responsibility to teach their kids about bullying and I wonder if they were bullies themselves. I admit to doing some things I was not proud of back in the day and I definitely learned my lesson. Then I grew up which brought the revelation that bullying sucks and I never want my kids to feel or make others feel scared or humiliated and I have worked very hard to teach them compassion. I really wish that more parents would do so and it saddens me greatly that my kiddo is dealing with this now. One would think that over the last several years every parent would have learned how serious bullying can be.

Okay, I will step off my soapbox now with the idea (and hope) that the parents of these children will find out and have the right discussions with their kids and put an end to the cycle.

Is unconventional becoming more conventional?

There has been a lot of hoopla in the media lately about self-pubbing and/or using bookseller sites (B&N and Amazon for example) to self pub your manuscript as an e-book.  I used to hear a lot about that being "the slacker way" or the "way of the bad writer" but I am finding myself increasingly convinced that it is the only way to publish anymore.  I mean, I have to admit that I have been assessing things myself lately and decided to start up my romance novel (and eventual series) as an e-book and skip over the hoopla of finding an agent.  So, here is my current list of pros and cons, feel free to chime in an add your own pros/cons if it strikes you.

Pros
- Money (I mean, let's face it, highly inexpensive to upload and even if a handful of family and friends buy them you just made more than if you were still waiting to be picked up by an agent.)
- Full editorial discretion (you don't have to change a character's name, you can select your own book cover)
- No need to query (does anybody enjoy the waiting game to say nothing of cramming your whole concept into a query letter)
- No middle man

Cons
- Miss the thrill of actually being accepted by an agent and/or publishing house
- Miss out on the experience/expertise of agent/publishing house

I admit being very new to this field but I have been researching this extensively and received a lot of good feedback (and bad if I am being honest) from forums and chat rooms.  The decision to self-pub the romance novel/series was not easy but a good friend made a great point when she said that even if I mark it at $1.99 each and collect 80 cents for each one, if I sell 50 I just made $40 that I didn't have before AND people are reading my book(s).  Point taken. 

As my title suggests, it seems to me that self-pubbing is no longer the unconventional way to publish.  I just want to see my book in print and even if I sell two copies (my mom and my sister, duh!) I will have SOLD A BOOK.  Isn't that what it is all about?

Look for RYDER ON THE STORM within the next few weeks.

Sleepless

It is 11:53 and I know that the kids will be up in about six hours - give or take - while I truly hope they snooze until 7 or so.  Yet here I sit, my facebook checked, my fantasy football teams set (I think!) for tomorrow, twitter re-evaluated, an hour or so of edits on Estelan and a few new pages to its sequel, words with friends updated (and I am sure all of my friends are safely tucked in their beds dreaming of new zingers for me), and I still can't sleep.  I have had an uber-productive day which makes me proud, but my mind will simply not shut down and enter relaxation mode.  How does that happen?  It is the weekend, I am a Mom, I have had a busy day, why does that not add up to sleepiness?  I can't figure it out.  So here I am rambling on in my blog about my complete inability to sleep.  I guess I am hoping that there are several of you out there who can relate to it.  I mean, I don't have a lot of followers (I am not blind) but judging by my stats, unless my followers are cyber-stalking me and checking my page several times a day then othere people are reading - or at least maybe skimming - my blog. 

In re-evaluating things tonight, I have also realized that my blog has lots its focus in a rather large way.  I have only dropped occasional updates on my actual writing and that is in part due to switching books.  I left Estelan to marinate for awhile and entered into the world of Storm Sullivan, whose town remains nameless as it is not particularly crucial to the plot of the romance.  I discovered that I liked the idea of a no-name town that could really be anywhere.  So there you have it.  Along my road to creating Estelan, I took a detour and created not only another manuscript but an entirely different world with entirely (well almost) different characters in an entirely different genre.  It was actually fun and by taking a break I was able to revisit Estelan with fresh eyes and have decided to have another go at it including some reformatting.  Will it be better? I am not sure but it feels right and I wonder if I wasn't just a little to close to it before.  I think I missed some things, some great opportunities that I simply didn't see.  I have a friend who will take credit for some of it - and you know who you are - but in the end, friends can only offer suggestions based on their individual perspective and sometimes with Estelan, as with many things in life, it takes a little time for suggestions to evolve into actual changes.  That said, I have been re-working Estelan, still hopeful to get it off the ground but in the mean time, I am looking to give Storm Sullivan not just a face (thank you Dave Holtz) but a place in the literary world. 

My song of the day

"Over my Head" by The Fray, I love this band. Honestly, they are fabulous and I look for their new releases. Anyway, I was driving home today and this song came on, triggering a slew of memories including the first time I really listened to the words (thank you singstar). "I never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through, that everyone I knew was waiting on a cue to turn and run when all I needed was the truth. But that's how it's gotta be it's coming down to nothing more than apathy....." I mean they actually used "apathy" correctly in a song lyric, one of my truly favorite words. The song just gets better from there and it can function as low key background noise for writing (i.e. today) or singing at the top of your lungs in your car (also today at which point my brilliant daughter reminded me of my small problem with tone-deafness). Regardless, if you haven't already, check out The Fray. You won't be sorry!!

P.S. Editing done on RYDER ON THE STORM, started the sequel, book 2 in the Emerald Seer Series - LIGHT MY FIRE. Yes, I have a theme going on, love The Doors!

Yes it's been a while

I have fallen off the blog train lately.  I blame my obsession with editing combined with having little to say.  So, this will be short, sweet, and to the point.  I have been editing, and editing some more, and then editing again. Rotating projects seems to work well for me, ESTELAN then EMERALD SEER.  I have also worked on outlining the sequels for both books.  I have written a bit of the sequel to ESTELAN which will be titled ECHO RISING.  The second in the Emerald Seer series will be LIGHT MY FIRE.  I have tabled my children's book - PEANUT AND MADSOX - but I continue to jot down material.

I just want to take a minute to send out thanks to my family for all of their support and immense love to my brother, Jay.  Love you, bro.

Origins - footballbutterfly

Hey all!  So lately I have gotten a lot of questions about where I came up with my name.  The truth is, I love football and butterflies are generally associated with beauty and grace.  I liked the contrast of the two words and they form such a unique combination that I can use it (or some variation of it) for almost everything from fantasy football (thank you fleaflicker) to ESPN/NFL to Texans sites to twitter to querytracker and studio 8.  I feel that people are somewhat dejected when I give that explanation but I am not going to make up a convoluted story just to make it more exciting.  I save story telling for my books, it is better that way.

In other news, I am working on the second installments of both my series (Estelan and The Emerald Seer/Storm Sullivan Series).  Of course, I continue to revisit my first two books and plan to join the realm of epublishing if I don't get any bites by the end of October.  I will keep you all posted on that front of course.  I am still planning to send my manuscript to two fantasy publishers but I want to do a little more prep work on them first and my fabulously talented friend, Dave Holtz, is working on covers still for me.  I would very much like to include his artwork and if any of you are looking for some stunning cover art please consider him!

That said, I am hitting the sack.  Today has not been as productive as I would have liked, but we all have those days, right? 

I will leave you with a song lyric that just makes me happy ~  Thank you to Dexy's Midnight Runners ~

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them
Now your're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers

Come on Eileen, well I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that that dress, my thoughts I confess
Verge on Dirty
Ah come on Eileen

Editing Estelan

Pausing the paranormal romance tonight (though I have a lot I'd like to add) to revisit Estelan again, I have been missing it terribly.  Estelan was a part of my life for so long now that the last few months have been more of a vacation from which I am ready and willing to return home.  Dramatic?  Overdramatic?  Absolutely.  But drama makes life fun, right?  Exciting at the very least.  Had a lot of drama as of late, I swear it seeks me out, but I am ready for things to die down a bit.  This weekend should be as drama free as they come and I am truly ready for it. 

Rainy days and writing

There is something soothing about a cup if coffee and my laptop on a rainy Seattle day. I would love to be curled up and writing like that right now, unfortunately it is not in the cards. I have to work at my office job which is slowly sucking the life out if me. Melodramatic much? Of course. But I do have that feeling, like every year I stay here I become a little more jaded and frustrated with my fellow humans. I do not want to become a recluse! Ha ha. Perhaps a day off soon would benefit me. Hm. I will think about that tomorrow for tomorrow is another day....how is that for melodrama?

Self publish?

I am seriously considering self publishing my paranormal romance. I am thinking of starting small, by ebooking it on B&N or amazon. It is a tough decision for me and I am hoping for some feedback from family and followers. I have gotten some from a few good forums that I dabble with but still am not sure about making the leap. Any and all input is appreciated!

P.S. Rant to my neighbors and their carpet cleaning service for cleaning fir several hours last night - well past my bed time and very disruptive to my creative writing juices!!!

Rave to John Hay Elementary staff for being so top notch!!!

Rants and raves

The local newspaper runs a column of rants and raves which allows my fellow citizens to tear down those mean, heartless, thoughtless neighbors and random strangers as well as compliment those who do something truly amazing, you know what I mean, random acts if kindness. I like the idea so I am piggy-backing and proposing that all those who read this do something similar, either a tweet or a blog post or a FB status update - ESPECIALLY some random acts if kindness. I think we all need reminders that there is still goodness in this world. And please, pay it forward. Something simple could change the whole outlook of a strangers day, who knows what can happen next?? Here are mine:

RANT: to the crazy woman at the grocery store who nearly knocked my five year old son over with her cart, threw an empty box the stocker had just emptied into the shelf he had just stocked so nicely, and then two aisles later almost clipped an elderly lady who fortunately was able to use her cart to regain her balance. Shame in you! My five year old noted that you would receive a "consequence" at school for not waiting your turn.

RAVE: to the extremely kind and caring women in the office at my children's school who always go above and beyond to help parents and children. Thank you for helping me contact the transportation office after being unable to contact them for more than a week!

RAVE: to my friend, Jenn, who gave her breakfast to a homeless person yesterday and for all her random acts of kindness that so often go unnoticed.

I hope to see a wave of these hit the 'net!!!!

Twitter it up!

So, I just gave in and joined twitter. I do not know whether to be proud of or disgusted with myself. However, I understand it is better to compromise your views a little if the end result gets you where you wish to be - in my case, published. So, that said, twitter it up and here's hoping!!!

10 random observations.....

1) Whenever you have no time to veg out in front of the TV there are a dozen things you would love to see/catch up on but whenever you have an hour or so where you are too braindead to function at a higher level than television there is absolutely nothing worth watching.  (Same thing goes with radio!)

2) Driving a convertible with the top down on a nice day may be one of the most glorious feelings known to man (okay, woman).

3) Purple is the best color in my world, it makes me happy and calm and passionate all at once.

4) No job is perfect but it takes work to find the perfect job for you.

5) Marilyn Monroe was right, if you can't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.

6) People are living longer but children are growing up faster - how does that compute?

7) A picture is worth a thousand words so what does that say about those pictures made up of a thousand little pictures?

8) I love the quote "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is learning to dance in the rain."

9) There is always somebody better than you, so doesn't that make you wonder who is better than that person?

10) Getting rejected based on a query letter is one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever encountered (and believe that is saying something).

Blogging from my iPod touch...

An experiment in patience. I feel the need to work on my patience as I am not a patient person in many ways. This would be one of those issues I have. I type faster with a keyboard but sometimes go so fast that I skip words or thoughts because my mind goes so much faster than my fingers can type - and I am not a slow typist. Still pecking at a tiny touch screen is very different than my keyboard! Anyway, I am exhausted as it is past my beddy bye time and this saddens me as I really wanted to watch parenthood's premiere tonight. Alas, my 5am workout and my entry into Real Simple magazines 'life lessons" essay contest took priority. This was an excellent exercise.... I strongly suggest you all try it.

Of course we will never forget....

How could we?  Our nation stopped for several days and we are still feeling the repercussions of what happened ten years ago.  I have not met an American whose life has not been touched by the tragedy of 9/11.  My children are too young to know what happened (as in they were not born yet) but they are aware of the sadness that comes over their elders when 9/11 is mentioned.  The term itself has come to stand for tragedy and my children will know it no other way.  The repercussions of that day have had the most astounding ripple effect and as I sit here reflecting, as many of my fellow Americans are at this moment, I have hope because of the amazing response by everyone who rushed in to offer aide from the firefighters and rescue crews who were first on site to those who arrived in the following days to offer shelter and supplies.  I am hopeful that Americans will remember how it felt then and translate that feeling to the present.  Working together for a common cause - I think we need that now as much as we did then. 

Busy, busy week!

Okay, so my paranormal romance is more than half way done - including the first sexual encounter! - and I am planning to have it complete by next weekend, if not sooner.  FOOTBALL is back which just makes me smile in general.  My kiddos are back and started school this week which has been amazingly fun and exciting.  AND, I got a new car.  Well, new to me.  It is a used car but I love it just the same.  2003 VW Beetle Convertible.  Texans blue with a black top and low miles.  It is AWESOME!!! Here's hoping I keep driving it and it doesn't putz out on me because I will cry if it does (and I am not a crier for those of you who don't know me well).

This is a super short entry, but I am thinking most can figure out why - who to cheer for this fine Seattle evening??  Packers or Saints????  I am really waiting for Sunday when my Texans take the field against a Manning-less Colts team.

Is anybody out there? Does anybody hear me?

Sometimes it is scary to start something new.  I have always been one of those people who dives in first and checks the depth of the water later.  While many things have mellowed since I became a mom, that is one thing that has not changed one iota.  I thrive on that feeling, the mixture of fear and excitement.  It strikes me as odd when people shy away from the unknown while I embrace it.  Then I realize that those people find me odd for jumping in.  Life is like that, right?  Yin and Yang?  I exist because they do, we offset each other in the larger scheme of things, or something like that.  What I want to know is if you believe that?  Do you believe that one approach to life is better than another?  Do you believe that there is a balance between folks to dive in and those who dip a toe in first?  Do you believe in magic?  (I don't know, that just seemed to naturally flow next since that song was the last I listened to on my iPod). 

I wonder a lot.  It is one of my many things.  Call it ADD if you will but it is how I function.  I mostly wonder about people, what motivates them, why so many are mean or self centered or whiny.  Again it dawns on me that there are some who probably think those things of me.  Then I realize how philosophical I sound and it makes me stop asking such questions.  How many of you have I lost with this post? 

I leave this post with one last thought - where are all my followers?  All my family and friends who pledge their support and tout their pride, where are you in relation to my blog?  It is free to join, takes a moment to check in, but your support would mean a lot to a budding career.  Thank you to those of my dearest who have not only voiced their support but follow me regularly.  I know who you are and it means more to me than words can say.  Thank you.

OSAD

Please take a moment to appreciate the return of one of my guilty pleasures - football.  I have missed it terribly and was on the verge of sinking into a depression when this season hung in the balance.  For myself, and many other fans, no football would have left a void in our lives.  In fact, I have coined a new term to refer to the strange melancholy that settles over myself and my fellow football fanatics during the offseason - I call it OSAD (hence the title of this post).  What does it stand for you ask?  Off Season Affective Disorder.  I suppose it could apply to any sport, however, I am a football fan so for me there are no other sports (especially not NASCAR, it is not a sport, it is a skill, not a sport and those of you who are NASCAR fans are going to have to accept it sooner or later.)

Good luck and well wishes to my favorite team - the fabulous and charming Houston Texans - who I hope to meet again someday. 

Wouldn't it be nice to be published?

Yes, my answer is a resounding YES.  It would be really nice.  I am growing frustrated with the rejections.  Even more frustrated with my apparently inadequate query letter.  I have three different projects going now, all very different genres, all very enticing to me.  I know that one is more commercial than the others and it is rolling easily, but my heart lies with Estelan.  Some friends have suggested I go the commercial route for now, and I think they are right, but I really wanted to see Estelan in print.  I have thought of self-publishing, but funds are low for that kind of venture.  So, new plan, work out this paranormal romance, see if I can at least get it into eBook form and push that series forward - lots of market for romance these days - and maybe by some stroke of amazing luck I will actually find some little toe hold in the industry that could propel my Estelan series.  I will always be grateful for Estelan, no matter what happens, because it got me writing again.  Somehow Estelan re-animated my writing, and that is why my blog remains "Creating Estelan" - just to answer the queries I have gotten on that topic. 

Thank you again to all of you who have supported me in this journey. 

Dental work - a major buzz kill

So, had a fabulous birthday on Wednesday.  It was nice and relaxing and I was able to enjoy a few beers with my awesome parents.  Feeling pretty good until I woke up on Thursday with some flu-like symptoms and the knowledge that I already had a dentist appointment for some major work (and I mean the kind where they have to sedate you and you wake up all loopy).  Needless to say, I went to work for all of three hours before I tapped out and took a small nap before the dentist who did a wonderful job but left me looking like I got bitch-slapped.  Yep, you read it right.  That evening I found that the entire left side of my face was not only sore and swollen but bruised.  It was charming.  Friday was not much better and when you have to drink out of a straw to boot - well, let's just say those looks of sympathy from other patrons told me all I needed to know about how I looked.  Today, I am happy to report I am almost able to smile again, almost able to chew again, and with some make-up I can almost hide the bruising.  Still, dental work = major buzz kill for this glorious weekend in Seattle!

P.S. For those of you following my paranormal romance...I am just over 8,000 words so it is coming along fabulously and I hope to have initial copies to my four initial readers after Labor Day. 

Is it a good idea to blog when you are sleep deprived?

I am not sure.  I was in Ohio over the weekend for my fantasy football drafts and to drop the kids off for two weeks with their grandparents.  The weekend was full of ups and downs.  It unfortunately ended on a down when my flight got changed and delayed and changed and then delayed again.  I didn't get in bed until around 1:30 am and definitely made it up at 5 and to work by 6am.  Wow, I am exhausted and perhaps jet-lagged.  However, I am here.  And sadly, I have missed my blog - and my writing.  While I transported my netbook back and forth I did not get to write at all - thanks to a red eye, a busy weekend, and then a very discourteous set of travelers who made me feel even more claustrophobic than I already do on an airplane.  I sit here now, more than 12 hours after rising from a very brief sleep stint, thinking about how I really, REALLY should hit the gym seeing as how I am kid and dog free, but cannot possibly muster the least bit of energy to walk across the street to the fitness center.  Wow, that is sad.  Does it balance out if I don't have the energy to prepare food either?  I mean, I could just call it a night and head to bed, right?  But see, that doesn't really work either, right?  The likelihood of waking around 3am is too high if I go to bed now.  I am wondering if this pseudo-stream-of-conscience thing I have going on right now is working for me or not.  Hm.  Oh well, either way I am putting this up and hoping that somebody gets what I am saying or that somebody else tells me I need to go to bed....ha ha.  bed.   Ah.  soft violet sheets, fluffy pillows and an extremely soft purple blanket...oh how nice that sounds, wait, am I?  Yes, I am slightly slack-jawed with drool building in the corner of my mouth.  EEK, that makes me somewhat pathetic.  Probably more than somewhat.  Egad.  Have I mentioned that when sleep deprived I tend to overshare?  Half of the time I go so far as to overshare embarrassing and/or inappropriate information to avoid oversharing a current personal truth that somehow I would find more traumatic somehow.  Hm.  Goodness.  Yes, perhaps bed is a good plan.....

The Kids are back in town!

After a few weeks traveling with my parents, my kiddos are back home and I am ecstatic!  I have missed them so much!  They have grown, in many ways, and of course, I now have more material for PEANUT AND MADSOX!  I don't know that they have stopped talking since they got back, but it has been funny.  They have so many great stories and their take on everything is just hilarious.  Of course, they simply do NOT want to go to sleep right now - even though they are absolutely exhausted. 

So, I sit here, ready to work on one of my projects and find myself feeling utterly at peace.  I can hear their little voices upstairs, chatting about their new room (and bunk beds) and even debating whose bunk is better.  The pauses between words are growing longer and the enunciation is slipping as well.  It will not be long until blissful dreams fill their heads. 

The joy of being a mother, I don't know anything like it!

Ryder on the Storm

Yes, my new paranormal romance novel is now 1,000 pages in and in part I pay homage to Jim Morrison and the Doors who I have loved since I was maybe seven years old (thanks Dad!!).  It hit me today when I was talking to a friend (who is actually editing FALL OF IA for me).  Here is my intro chapter (pretty rough so far) but what do you all think??

When you first realize you are different it can come as a shock.  It should come as a shock.  Storm just took it in stride, as if her mother said “Your eyes are blue” instead of “You are a Seer.”  She was seven.   Storm had awakened from a nightmare, or what she thought was a nightmare, to find herself seated between her mother and Aunt Trin.  The rough fabric of the 70s style sofa, the one her mother refused to part with even though it was fraying and covered in stains, chafed her legs beneath her gingham checked romper.  Aunt Trin stroked her hair, from the nape of her neck to her waist and over again. 

Even then Storm knew that Trin was moral support for her mother, not her.  Nothing new.  Trin had been there when Storm’s father left, and the next three boyfriends after him.  Aunt Trin, her mother’s twin, the stronger of the two.  Aunt Trin who taught Storm to control it.  Aunt Trin who took Storm in when her mother couldn’t handle it anymore.  Aunt Trin who was being lowered into the ground, the grinding of gears echoing through the graveyard.  The stargazer lilies on the top of her coffin were wilting in the heat, sweat dripped off Storm’s brow.  She wondered briefly of the sheen made her appear to be crying.  Trin would have liked that. 

Two caretakers emerged from a truck with shovels and began filling the grave.  Burly men with sweat stains under their arms that had spread in all directions, the larger man even had sweat lines down his back.  Storm refrained from sneering as she approached them. 

“Could I have another moment, please?”  She loosed the belt of her jacket revealing the navy sheath dress beneath.  As expected the caretakers’ eyes bulged slightly at her defined curves and nodded in that stunned manner Storm had become accustomed to but failed to grasp.  Once they were out of sight, she knelt beside the grave and took a handful of dirt from the pile.  With the other hand Storm reached into the pocket of her jacket and withdrew a vial.  She cast them both into the grave, stood up, brushed herself off, and walked away. 

In the driver’s seat of her VW Beetle, Storm exhaled.  It was done.  Everything she’d been asked to do.  She was free.  Sort of.  The visions would still plague her.  Unless she could break the curse.  Storm started her car and kicked the radio on, this one’s for you Aunt Trin, as Jim Morrison blew through her speakers with her namesake song.

When life gives you lemons....

Slice them up, grab the salt, and start shooting tequila.....it works, sort of.  I am using beer today, it goes better with the slice of pizza I just forced down because my friend Jenn said it is not good to work out and not eat.  Be proud of me Jenn, I ate.  It has been one of those days where I would yell about the sky falling if I were a chicken.  Still, I am ready to write, heading that way now with a beer in hand.  Plan to move out to the deck and enjoy the last rays of sun as I tap out a few more pages of ECHO RISING. 

Today would have been a great day to get a partial request or something from an agent, would have made the world make sense again.  Alas, no go.  I am giving my Estelan series one more year and then I give in and switch to trashy romance novels for a bit - which will make a few of my coworker/editors quite pleased.  I have some great ideas for romance novels but my heart is not in them as much as it is in Estelan.  I am hoping for a sign, something to show I am on the right road with it.

Echo Rising

Finishing up chapter 2 of Echo Rising (#2 in the Estelan series) and what I think will be my favorite of the series. I wonder if it is bad as an author to have a favorite character, one that stands out, one whose entrance into the story has to be absolutely amazing to be worthy of this particular character.  My character is Echo.  I love her and I am very excited to introduce her in the Estelan series. 

On that note, a friend of mine feels that I should make book 2 my book 1 if I feel so strongly about it.  I toyed with the idea but I just cannot justify it.  One of the little things that I set out to do with this series is to create a strong 2nd book.  It is an issue for me that many series have yawners for 2nd books (LOTR, HP, Twilight) - not that they were bad, they were just lesser in the series.  I really loved LOTR and HP - two of my favorite series of all time, but the second books in both were not up to par with the others in my humble opinion.  Anyway, I am up for feedback on this line of reasoning, perhaps I am full of it, but what do you all think, does Chamber of Secrets really stand up to the rest?   Can the Two Towers hold a candle to Fellowship or Return of the King? 

Anyhow, I have been bad about blogging lately, I chalk it up to the move and a lot of writing (oh and working out regularly!  yay me!!!).  Have a great one all, Mondays can be hard!

still unpacking....does it ever end??

Truly, I wonder if I will ever have everything put away.  I have been hanging art work and clothes, putting away books and pots and pans, hanging shower curtains and rearranging.  UGH.  I love the new place though, I did get to write a bit the last two nights which has been great.  I have the beginning for PEANUT AND MADSOX, I think.  It is very different to write a middle grade book than a fantasy novel.  WOW.  However, it is very fun to pull in bits and pieces of conversations I had with Autumn, I hope she likes it when I am done. 

I am still working with ESTELAN, I love the world, a place I can get lost and find new characters around ever corner.  Book 2 is moving along fairly well, I know where it all is going I just need to fill in and get there!!  Thanks to everyone who has been supportive in this!

All moved in!

I hate moving.  But, we are all in, just going to be unpacking for quite some time.  Love the new place, very open, very comfy, and a great neighborhood!  Many thanks to my wonderful friends who helped with the move - THANK YOU!!

I have tabled FALL OF IA for a bit, waiting for three of my readers/advisors to finish up the versions they have and give me some feedback on them.  In the meantime, I have added a bit to ECHO RISING (Book 2 of the Estelan series) and started PEANUT & MADSOX which should be a fun break when I still need to write but need to take some time away from Estelan. 

Moving...

Probably will not be able to blog for a few days because we are moving to a new apartment - yes, I know you are all terribly jealous because moving is just the "funnest."

I just wanted to thank those who posted comments and sent me some private feedback - it bolstered my spirits to get some good suggestions.  I am going to keep writing - amidst the move - but obviously not as much as I would normally like to!

Thank you to everyone for the support!

Feeling frustrated....

I really don't want to pay a professional editor to edit my manuscript.  That said, I have been seeking feedback and it has come in bits and pieces - very slowly.  When I like something or agree that a change would make it a little tighter, I absolutely make the corrections, however, I don't always do so for various reasons.  I cannot spell everything out in the first 6 chapters or it would not be very exciting, would it?  I also cannot account for limitations on various websites (i.e. youwriteon.com does not allow use of italics or underlining or bold type, etc and part of my dialogue is done telepathically so where I would normally have it italicized it is not).  Consequently, I have been "knocked" on ratings because people couldn't get past that.  Really?  I would never knock a fellow writer for something like that. 

I also have been working on the querytracker.net forums and I find that some of those members are utterly useless - and rude - giving poor feedback to newbies and it makes me sad because I have seen some excellent work get annihilated by one or two people who I can only presume are jealous or complete morons.  When I see "hero member" beneath their name I wonder if they earned that by trashing real talent??? 

That said - and yes I am ranting - I am starting to wonder if I would be best off self publishing for now.  Thoughts???

Fabulous wine and a bit of cheese

Just moments away from a bit of well deserved relaxation.  Thank you Pasek for yor glorious wines, I long to visit your winery and do some tastings....within the next month I will certainly be there!  It has been a long week and proves to be worse next week - we are moving to a new place, ugh - needless to say, I am going to relish my time tonight, and the next two days. 

I have been productive though, two query letters out (with a different format!) and a little more editing/tweaking.  I admit to a crisis of faith in Estelan last night, another rejection and frustration over my query letter left me feeling flustered.  It was not a great feeling.  I re-read my manuscript today, well parts of it, and I regained hope, and faith in it.  I intend to proceed with book 2 in the Estelan series, titled ECHO RISING, and if it comes down to it, there is always the self-pub option.  I really just want to see it/them in print, even if it is just on my own personal bookshelf. 

My moments are up, I am off to uncork a bottle and cut up some scrumptious cheese.  Cheers!

When I feel like writing....

which is pretty much all the time, I pull out my awesome new netbook and tap some things out, or I whip out the journal in the nightstand next to my bed, or if I am desperate I will tap a note in my phone or iPod.  I write every day now, and have been for months, like I opened the flood gates and all of the stories that floated about my imagination for so long are now pouring out.  The hardest part is the new material - and I get a lot of it! - from my kids to my "real job" to my relationships to the dreams that wake me some nights.  Where do I incorporate those when I have so many threads weaving already??  It is hard to turn something off once you turn it on, but in this case, I don't believe I want to - one of these ideas is bound to hit, right?  No way was I given this ridiculous imagination for nothing??

I sent out to more queries today.  I am not 100% positive that my manuscript is 100%, but I am pretty solid in it and I feel the urge to push it....maybe I will get a bite for more and it will drive me that much further, maybe I won't and that will spur me to make some more changes - either way I want to move this book forward, Estelan is in my dreams more nights than not and I need to get it out!

Once upon a time....

....there was a little girl who made up plays about Care Bears and Smurfs and Gummi Bears.  She made masks and costumes for her brother and sister and directed them.  She wrote scripts and illustrated backdrops with construction paper or anything they could get their hands on.  She wrote (and illustrated) a children's book about Super Oreo an extraordinary cream-filled cookie.  Now the little girl is grown with a little girl of her own who directs plays about Spongebob and Patrick or life-sized games of monopoly. 

It is truly funny how small bits of our childhood come back to haunt us as parents.  I recall my mother telling me of a book she wrote as a child.  I remember seeing said book when I was a child.  I am not sure where "Super Oreo" is but I have many other pieces to show my child some rainy day.

I aspire to write, it brings me great joy and I can spin a number of tales at any given moment, does that make me a success waiting to happen?  Doubtful.  It does make me a lucky person who has the opportunity to do something I enjoy, even if I only share it with my nearest and dearest.

Once upon a time......well you know how it goes, the possibilities are endless.....

Maybe it's the pincers, chkt chkt

In honor of the release of HP 7.2 I feel the need to pay homage to J.K. Rowling who created such a beautiful world for children (and adults, let's be real everyone, the midnight showings will be filled with 18+ people).  As a Mom myself, working at a job that is less than fulfilling, and with a head full of story ideas, I am truly inspired by the brilliance and tenacity of Ms. Rowling.  It is exciting to me to see a story touch so many people and teach generations some of the more difficult lessons in life without telling them what to believe in the end.  In a world where people stand on street corners trying to forcefeed you their own moral and political agendas it is refreshing to escape into the wizarding world of Harry Potter.  Thank you J.K. Rowling, I look forward to sharing your story with my children in the years to come.  Thank you for inspiring me to write on.

P.S. The title is in reference to one of my favorite scenes in HP 6 - if you are wondering, check out the scene where Harry take the liquid luck.....

Just a song lyric today....sums up my mood for the day

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Got to love the Beatles....I think that I would use the Beatles and Tom Petty to soundtrack my life....

Thinking more on the Children's Series....

I am thinking middle school aged, or possibly more for younger kids who read at a higher level.  My daughter just finished kindergarten but reads at a 3rd grade level (no idea where she got that from, ha ha ha) and it is hard to find age appropriate subject matter that is at a challenging reading level!  I would love to put out a series for kids like her!

P.S. Autumn thinks this is a fabulous idea and has decided that the cover should feature pictures of her - she even drew a cover for me.  I think I am going to have to work on this for her!

Children's series?

So, I know I am working on the Estelan series and I love it - feeling very passionate about it no doubt about that - but I was talking with my daughter today, well, more listening to her incessant talking.  Anyway, I came up with the idea for a children's series that I would love to write and I am wondering what everyone thinks about it.  So, here is the idea - a series about my kiddo.  I figured that since her nickname is/has been Peanut, since she was the size of a peanut, I could name the series for her.  Of course, she has to have a little brother named Mad Socks.  When I discussed this with Autumn she was very excited and informed me that she would gladly provide me with all the material I would need. 

That said, Peanut would need to have many adventures (say bushwacking in Alaska?) and I believe that Mad Socks would echo a lot of what she does....any thoughts?

Feedback?

Wow, what a varied world we live in!  Nothing reminds me more than the feedback I receive on things I post on forums - too long, too short, too much description, too little description, even the names of my characters (and I really like the names of my main characters!).  It is almost more difficult to figure out which way to go when people offer completely opposite responses.  This is my first attempt at this and I am truly just sticking my toe into this industry so working a query letter is daunting at best, and of course, me being as I am, chose to write a manuscript from multiple points of view.  I wonder sometimes if I should shelve this again and try something less involved and ride that out for a bit, as my jumping in piece.  There are a hundred ideas running through my head as I type this....but am I just procrastinating or is it a good idea???  Any responses/insight are welcome!!

Beautiful days, sleepless nights

I would have used the cliche "sleepless in Seattle" but I am not a fan of the term.  Normally I sleep quite well in this bustling metropolis with the glorious mountains and gentle breeze.  Tonight is still, no sirens, limited street traffic, and a stunning sunset.  I cannot sleep.  I am exhausted.  Sleep however does not want to cozy up with me as it already has with my children.  Is it wrong to be jealous of my children?  I am.  They are completely out, dreaming of summer vacation and, in my son's case, Cars 2. 

I am sitting here pouring over my query letter, feeling a little ADD and roving over a few pages of my manuscript as well.  Restless.  A little warmer than I like to be and certainly wishing my good friend sleep would decide to wipe out the racing thoughts in my head - where should Kriton go next, should I use Loki instead, should I query from a different character's vantage point?  The questions go on, frustratingly with few answers.  That's it.  That is my problem.  Sleep's arch enemy - writer's block.  EEK!  I said it.  The worst thing to happen to a writer!  I was sleeping just fine when the story poured out of my head faster than my poor fingers could dictate it.  Now that I am at the end, the labor-intensive editing phase (yes it is my fourth revision and yes I have added over 4,000 pages the last few days) sleep has become evasive and my characters have become invasive and demanding, not necessarily in that order. 

Perhaps if I can simply purge a few of these ideas into my bedside journal my characters will be satisfied to allow sleep to fold me into her (his?) arms and take me to that place where I can dream of margaritas and fajitas on the patio of a delightful Seattle restaurant - what are the chances of that?

The end of a lovely vacation....

Gorgeous weather, time with my kids, excellent food and drink, and even time to work on my manuscript.  All in all it was a pretty grand time and a much needed break from the everyday grind that wears me down.  I dread what my desk will look like (figuratively of course) when I go back tomorrow but for five days I was able to enjoy myself.  It felt pretty grand.  Now I sit here, watching the sun set behind the Space Needle, a small crescent moon smiling at me from above, and a soft breeze tickling my legs as it rolls in from the balcony.  It is about time to stretch out on the couch and let my mind soar - hopefully to pick up the bridges I need to finish off my new additions to FALL OF IA. 

Again, many thanks to all those who support me in this venture, it means more than I can put into words - and that is saying something!

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters...

One of my absolute favorite Elton John songs - made semi-famous by Almost Famous, which happens to be one of my favorite movies.  Funny story about Almost Famous, when it was released I was working at a video store and I saw the previews/trailers for it more than my fair share of times so I vehemently opposed watching it.  However, since it was a terribly popular my boss insisted that I view the film so that I could provide "educated feedback to our customers" - do not get me started on the idiocy of that statement.  Regardless, I watched said film and was absolutely enchanted.  I saw myself in William, longed to be as lusted after as Penny Lane, and envied the immeasurable talent and swagger of Russell Hammond.  I returned to work educated on the cinema-worthiness of Almost Famous and proceeded to sing its praises to anyone who inquired.  My coworkers recalled my opposition and quickly called my bluff - only to find that they too were mislead by the ridiculous previews/trailers that had been forcefed to us through store monitors.  I do have a point in this, I promise!  While my query letters and first few chapters may not be the best example of what I can do, my manuscript is worth something.  It will surprise you if given a chance.  Here's to all the agents and publishers out there - and any naysayers, I know a few for sure - the packaging is not always the best indicator of a stellar piece of work.  Almost Famous, in my top ten movies of all time, and that is saying something when the films ahead of it include the Lord of the Rings trilogy, V for Vendetta, and Breakfast at Tiffany's.  I hope you all take a chance to check out some of what I am doing, you won't be disappointed.

Happy 3rd of July!

As beautiful as yesterday was, today is at best "blah."  However, looks to be a glorious week of mid-70s and sun so how can I complain?  I did get to write some more yesterday, got some good feedback on the alternate intro - it will take my manuscript in an entirely different direction - but I think it will be beneficial in the end.  The fact that the rough skeleton is already more exciting and fluid than its predecessor is a good sign.  Hope to have to updated alternate up and running within the week. 

I truly hope that everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend as much as I am - off to do a little shopping with the punkins - and then some more strawberry margs and excellent food!

New Prologue & First Chapter - let me know what you think!

Prologue

Ia was fading.  Her grasp on reality was slipping almost as quickly as her physical form. She stumbled through Dor Wood, cursing her brothers with every step.  No food for days, no sign of her sisters in many annuals, and Bian had nearly captured her last eve.  Ia cursed him most of all.  He was her twin, the Darkness that balanced her Light.  It was Bian who had started the war, not two hours after their Father abandoned them.  The memory was crushing, but tears would not come.  Ia fell to her knees and screamed out in the night, shred her clothes and let the fade claim her form once again.

******************************************************************************

Ia

She materialized at the edge of Panei’s main settlement.  Kriton was waiting for her with a cloak and Loki thrust a few pieces of jerky in her hand.  Ia collapsed into Kriton’s waiting arms, the warmth seeped into her aching bones, pain flared even though he cradled her gently.  Kriton always smelled of nature, she inhaled at the risk of more pain, and half smiled. 

“My Goddess, you are weak.  What has happened?”  Loki’s velveteen voice grounded her.

“Bian nearly caught me, Child.”  Ia cringed at how hoarse her own voice sounded.  She attempted to clear her throat without successs, the rawness burning at the effort.

“Do not speak Goddess, we have a safe room for you.  Lor has a pallet and teas for your pleasure.  We will heal you, my promises.”  Kriton’s warm breath in her ear did little to reassure the ache in her core.  Bian was coming for her.  She could feel him, feel the fear that crept along the edges of the minds around her.  Kriton and Loki were concerned, not just for her weakness but for the spoiled harvests and poisoned streams.  There was something more, something they did not wish her to know.  Ia was too weak to pry it from their minds. 

“We will tell you soon enough Goddess, please, rest and replenish your strength first.”  Loki nodded solemnly, “We are not far but I think a cloaking spell would benefit us all.”  He muttered a short incantation and Ia felt the ripple of magic tickle across her skin.  The short walked seemed to last for hours, agonizing even in the safe comfort of Kriton’s arms. 

“Here we are.”

Ia forced her heavy eyelids open, the morning light of the ivory suns was brighter than the dark of eve but still dampened by the growing strength of Bian and the brothers.  Beyond the glare, her eyes found the ruins of a once grand manor, shutters were missing and the ones that remained were broken and faded, the onyx trim was cracked in many places and the once crimson roof was not only faded but half-collapsed. 

“It is not so bad Goddess, most of us survived the attack.  Wounds may heal and homes may be rebuilt.  I have already begun the interior work but we decided that the exterior should remain as such.  Your brothers rarely return to completely raze a home.”  Kriton pushed open the entry cautiously, the creak echoed in the quiet day and Ia realized their were no creatures stirring in the yards.  Her eyes went wide with understanding as Kriton carried her over the threshold.  

The hearthroom was plain but crammed full of cots and pallets.  Ia noted many familiar faces milling about, grim and worn down.  Loki cleared his throat and the entire crowd went still.  They bowed low in unison and Ia nodded with all she could muster.  Kriton walked the length of the room and placed her in a pallet near the barely glowing embers of the hearthfire.

“We keep it low My Goddess, to avoid notice.  Apologies for the chill but we have many pelts ready for your use.  Please, allow me to help you with some teas.”  Lor’s voice was melodic and ended the awkward moment.  Ia smiled weakly and opened her cracked lips enough to take in the warm liquid.  It spread quickly through her body and she felt slightly better.  Lor knelt beside her, large brown eyes so like her sister Misa, the young woman’s mother.  Ia lifted a hand to the child’s face, no longer that of a youth, nearly a woman grown. 

“My Goddess, if you please, we would share with you our idea while you drink.  Your energies should replenish quickly and I fear we have little time.”

Ia nodded to Kriton and allowed Lor to give her more tea. 

“The animals have all fled or died of pestilence, the rivers are tainted with poisons and we run low on the elements to conjure fresh waters.  Bain has taken to kidnapping and torturing those who have aided you in the past.  Loki has suggested we take leave of our world, abandon it to the Darkness of Bian and start anew.  Do you believe you can cloak us with the aid of a few?”

Ia took the chalice from Lor, her hands solid and full of feeling for the first time in days.  She nibbled a piece of jerk and contemplated the option.  It could work, certainly with a few hours of rest and a few floras she could do such a thing.  Ia recalled her father’s departure, the incantations and potions, indeed if the children possessed the ingredients it would take little effort.  But –

“My Goddess, we understand the gravity of what we ask.  You will have to leave your sisters.”

Loki’s words mirrored her thoughts and even his sweet tone could not stay the splintering pain that passed through her core.  Her sisters would be abandoned to the vile tortures of her brothers.  The thought left her, replaced by the idea that these were her sisters’ children, the First Ones, asking for salvation.  How selfish was she to mourn her sisters knowing they would lose their mothers as well.  Which is worse?  Tears sprang to her eyes; Ia nearly dropped the chalice.

“Goddess!?”  The First Ones’ voices rang in her ears, their unfailing love as clear as their concern.  Ia closed her eyes, blinked back the tears and sipped from the chalice once more.  Calling on the strength of her father, Ia rose steadily and allowed her Light to shine upon the First Ones.

“Children of my sisters, you have long stood by us in this war, even as your mothers were taken.  I cannot last against my brothers, this you well know.  If you are prepared to take your leave and enter the unknown then I will go as well.  We will forge a new world, free of the Darkness that has taken Panei.”

“We follow you Goddess, always.”  Loki stepped forward first and bowed low.  Ia dispatched instructions for all the necessary items and asked for some privacy to prepare herself.   Kriton led her down a half-finished hallway to a small, nearly bare room. 

“Apologies for the starkness Goddess, this is the only room that is finished beyond the hearthroom, but it will offer you fair solitude.  Lor will bring you a pot of tea and I will make certain none disrupt you beyond that.”  Kriton bowed low and made to exit.

“My thanks Kriton, you bring pride on your mother.  Please see that they are all ready by nightfall.”

“Aye My Goddess, it will be done as you instruct.”  Kriton disappeared and Ia was alone.  She sized up her surroundings, nothing the stellar craftsmanship.  The only sign that repairs had been made lay in the unfinished paneling and charred bits of flooring.  Ia settled upon the sole piece of furniture, a slightly worn settee.  She recognized the ornately carved frame and plush velvet upholstery.  The piece had once been hers, a gift from Kriton before the war, before her father left.  Ia let her thoughts drift to her father for a brief moment and then grounded herself in the task at hand, somehow strengthened by his memory.  She spent the remainder of the day in deep focus, rehearsing the proper words and storing her energies. 

Shortly before nightfall, Ia sent for the First Ones with cloaking abilities.  It took a matter of mins to instruct them in the manner of cloak she intended to invoke.  Ia led them back to the hearthroom and detailed the necessities to the rest.  As the ivory suns set, Ia led the First Ones to the side yard and within moments they were flying through the skies in the guise of a meteor shower.  Ia looked back once as she heard the cries of her sisters as they sensed her departure, then they were silent. 

The first day of a long weekend...

Aaaaahhh, it feels wonderful to be off work for five days in a row!  Today was a "get it all done" kind of day so I am ready for the rest of the weekend.  Planning to get some writing done tonight which should feel pretty great - pop on some tunes and let it all go! - after the kids hit the sack that is.  There is a delicious bottle of beer chilling in the fridge (two actually) and I have some Adele downloaded to my iPod...I am so ready to write!

By the way, rejection count = 4. 

Missed a day! Sorry all.....problems with blogger

Back online today!  Having some difficulties with my query letter, I can't seem to get it right!  I have gotten some good feedback from my new friends at querytracker.net (the forums are amazingly helpful!) but I still am not satisfied - maybe why my rejection count is now at four.  I knew it would not happen overnight but I had hoped my query would come together a little more quickly. 

On to bigger and better things - I am embarking on a 5 day mini-vacay!!  We are not going anywhere but I am thrilled to have some time with the kids - and to write!  Happy Thursday Night - I am ready for a beer!

A little poem about Fall of Ia

This was an exercise I did to see if I could encapsulate the finer points of my entire manuscript into less than a paragraph, so here goes:

In the land of endless night
where moonlit meadows whisper plights
and lovers lapse in stormy rites
Three warriors set out to cross
the thickened Fog where much is lost
Only when the five are found
can Ia claim her hallowed ground

Gratuitous sex passage?

I am working on an adult series, and I don't mean that in the X-rated sense, but I have included some sex passages.  A few of my test readers have asked/commented on the sex passages and I have actually contemplated taking them out of my series to downplay it to more of a young adult crowd.  Here is a great opportunity for reader feedback as so far the response is pretty evenly split.  Here is one of my "adult" passages... (disclaimer: there are no marriages in this society, there are "matings" but not marriages so individual religious/moral codes should not impact my imaginary world).  Without further ado, a passage from Fall of Ia of the Estelan Series:

**********

Pallia awoke to Elnor’s arm around her waist and their legs in a tangle. She sighed and relaxed into him.  He moaned and adjusted so she felt his presence against her back.  Pallia smiled and adjusted herself again, pushing her bottom into him and adjusting his hand to her bare breast beneath the quilts.

“You will be the death of me Pet.”

Whatever do you mean my Love?  Pallia turned her head to the side and met Elnor’s lips full on.  He maneuvered his arousal into the vee of her legs and met her wetness with another groan.  Pallia hissed as he entered her and began panting in rhythm with his thrusts.  Elnor’s free hand traced down her side sending shivers throughout her body.  He grabbed her hip and held her still for one strong thrust, sending him deeper than she thought possible.  Elnor traced her hipbone, down her outer thigh and back up her inner thigh where he found her swollen nub and began rubbing as he continued rhythmically pumping.  She stretched her arm behind her head and wrapped her fingers in his hair. They came simultaneously in intense pleasure and then she rolled over and faced him, placing a hand on his cheek, relishing the feel of his stubble.

I love you.

“And I you my Pet.  I have done all of this for you, for us.”  He kissed her nose softly and ran his fingers through her hair.  “I have longed for you all these years, missed your warmth, your laughter.  Though I am dying to know what you did with the bodies of the Prietesses.” 

*********
Let me know what you all think!

Cars 2

Real quick because I am exhausted from working overtime all day....lucky me.  We went to see Cars 2 tonight and I have to say, it was impressive.  I laughed out loud and in general loved the entire movie.  My son was wide-eyed for the entire 2 hours!  I strongly recommend it!

First rejection out of the way and I am relieved

I have to say that I am surprised to receive a response so quickly - and grateful.  I am hoping to send out some more queries this weekend and that means more rejections on the horizon.  Is that glass half full? No, I do not believe so, more realistic.  It is bound to happen and I know that some of my favorite authors received some rejections so I am looking at it as a part of the process.  Besides, I would rather have a rejection than no response.  I find that a no response is more offensive as it means I did not even warrant a response.  Ouch.  So here is to my first rejection which I am soaking up like the fine wine I am about to partake of - Thanks to Pasek for putting out such an amazing set of wines (my personal favorites - Raspberry and Blackberry).

Moving into deeper waters

I just sent 3 more query letters, or more aptly, emails.  I am somewhat anxious but certainly excited and hopeful.  It was a very rough day at work and I was only there for 4.5 hours - how is that for a bad day?  Needless to say, I more than understand I am not meant to sit in an office all day listening to complaints and trudging through minutia with no chance for creative expressions.  Fortunately, it jumpstarted me to put more effort into all aspects of this journey so here I sit, wondering if I should shoot out one or two more tonight for good measure or simply sit on this four and see what happens.....decisions, decisions.  Nah, I think I will go read my novel and see if I can nitpick it a little more. 

P.S. writers.net could be the worst site for people new to the writing world!

Editing lasts forever...

Everytime I pick up my manuscript and read it, I find sentences that could be improved, passages that need to be cut or expanded, any number of changes that make me feel better about it.  I do not believe it is ever going to end, I wonder if I will ever be truly satisfied with what I have.  Eh, well, I will keep working on it because I believe in it and enjoy the world I am working with.

I am in need of more feedback though, some honest (constructive!) feedback.  It is harder to come by than I ever imagined.  I am working on it however, and hope that eventually I will get some responses from within the industry.  We shall see!

The waiting is the hardest part

It is a difficult thing to give your work, something you have devoted a lot of time/effort/love to, to another person.  It is far more difficult to wait for their feedback.  I have given 7 copies of my book to 7 different people for feedback and I am confident in my selections, however, I wait anxiously for their feedback and I admit it is quite possibly the most never-wracking experience.  I am proud of this book but it does not mean I do not feel there are some rough parts, it does not mean that I do not wonder if somebody is going to hate it, it does not mean that it wouldn't sting a bit if somebody did hate it.  Still, I value constructive criticism and indeed crave it since I want this to be the best possible manuscript that I can put forth to an agent and/or publisher (so that they can then completely deconstruct it as well).  Hopeless?  Nope.  Not by a long shot.  I am FULL of hope for this manuscript.  I believe in the story an the characters.  But in the immortal words of Tom Petty....the waiting IS the hardest part.

Still working at it

I still have not heard anything about my query letter (for those who have asked!) but it has not even been a week.  I am prepared for a long process!  I actually went back and re-read the query letter and I hate it - so, back to the drawing board anyway!  I think that the query letter has been more complicated than writing the 80,000+ page book! 

On a totally unrelated note, my daughter finished Kindergarten today and her grade card (I don't recall having a grade card in Kindergarten, but her whole experience has been different than I remember) is wonderful!  My kiddo is reading well above her grade level with test scores to match.  I am so very proud of her.  So today's post is in honor of my Peanut ~

Autumn:  "Mommy, when you are done with your book, I mean really done with pictures and everything, I will take it to my school and read it to my class."

Me: "Well Peanut, I do not really think that your class is ready for my book.  Besides, there are not really going to be pictures in my book."

Autumn: "Well Mommy, I don't think many kids will like it so I don't know who you are going to sell it to."

Me: "Peanut, I am not writing the book for kids.  Big people do not have to have pictures in their books."

Autumn: "Mommy, I think you are making a big mistake.  Big people work and do not have time to read but kids are on summer vacation and have a lot of time to read.  You need to be smart about this Mommy."

Me: "Thank you Peanut, I will consider what you said."

Autumn: "Good Mommy because you need to make a lot of money on this so we can go to Harry Potter World."

Me: "I will see what I can do Peanut."

I am just proud that I was able to keep a straight face.  She was so very serious.

Long day at the office....

At least I got to write a little, though not as much as I would like, and I missed it.  I am still editing, I really do not think that part ever ends.  Everytime I read it, I think of another word or phrase that would sound that much more fluid.   I wonder at what point I should just stop and let it go.   

I have been toying with a change in the layout of the book - cutting the prologue significantly and dispersing the history throughout a handful of chapters.  I am not sure what that will mean for the first book but I have received the suggestion from two people and figured it was worth a try.  Honestly, I reworked it in my head on my walk home (another lovely Seattle day!) and the changes may improve the story....only time will tell and I never seem to have enough time!

Tomorrow is certain to be a more productive day! 

Getting feedback is really difficult!

I have posted on three different writers' forums asking for feedback and I find it very frustrating that I have only had one response on one site.  Though incredibly grateful for that one response, I wonder what it takes to get more?  I can take it, honestly, I would love for somebody to just tear my work apart (in a constructive way of course) just so I know where the pitfalls are.  I realize more each day how completely naive I was about this entire process.  Fortunately, it is very early in the game and I feel strongly about the book I have penned - and I love my characters! 

Speaking of characters, here is a little tidbit from Fall of Ia regarding one of my favorites, Kitin meets an interesting new ally in this excerpt:

“Seraph, we know you.  Well met we are for true.  Fear not for we wish no harm, we offer protection and alliance to you and yours.”

Kitin stood and spun about, searching the forest for the speaker.

“Lay your weapons upon the grass and we shall appear to you.  Trust given is trust received.  We have power to aide you if you have courage to treat with us unarmed.”

Kitin felt no malice in the immediate area.  She removed her scabbard and cast it aside.  “I agree to your terms.”

From within the creek there rose a stream of water that slowly took shape until Kitin found herself eye to eye with a pair of slanted grey-blue eyes swirling like a whirlpool, offset by a slight nose and pointed chin.  Clearly a male Water Nymph, she guessed.  His skin was nearly translucent, water dripped down his features from a head full of aquamarine hair spiked about in every direction.  Kitin held his gaze and he smiled, revealing bright white teeth behind his blue-tinged lips.

“We are of the Water Nymphs of Estelan.   We are called Xander, the youngest Princeling of our kind.  You are the female warrior Kitin.  It is rumored that you are still without mate, without a lover at all.  Is this true?  It would please us greatly you understand.”  Kitin was nearly mesmerized by his velvety voice, words spoken in such rhythm that if not for her Seraph blood, would have been entrancing.

“I have no mate, though I do not wish one either.”  Kitin took a step back, far too uncomfortable in such close proximity to the Nymph, who almost too beautiful.

“Ah, then we are very pleased indeed.  We too are children of Ia.  We too look for mates to enrich the lines.  You are quite the female Kitin.  We should truly perish in your honor.”

Kitin stifled a gasp as best she could, “Freya mentioned that you wished to align with us, or are you here just to court my affection?”

“We are here to give you word of the borders of our world, a warning of evil to come, a promise of hope, and our aide in this until the end.  You will not like much of what you hear and understand little of the rest at this time.   Do you accept these terms?”

“I accept.”

“Darkness is creeping along the borders of all Estelan, a dark haze is billowing along the Divide.  Creatures of evil patrol the great chasm, each merciless and pitiful, seeking to capture any  who attempt to ford the Divide.  We feel hope for the great Light has been promised to arrive soon,   expected to be battle ready in six and ten annuals.  We will vow to stand with you until the end, to align with Light in all ways possible.”  Xander bowed and then raised a hand to her arm, travelled down to her wrist and turned her hand palm up.  “You bear the mark, you hold the power.” 

Kitin swore she saw him lick his lips but she was distracted by a prickling at her wrist.  She looked down and saw a bright blue droplet glowing upon her wrist.

“This is our vow.  Call as you need us, or want us, fair Kitin of the Seraphs.”  And then he was gone, exploded into a million droplets.  Kitin moved to a nearby tree and leaned for several moments, staring at the glowing droplet.  As she traced the outline, Xander’s voice entered her mind, call us our Kitin, we will run to you, and then she was alone in silence.  Kitin took up her scabbard and made for camp.  It was time to move and she finally knew where to start. 

“Freya, I know you are there.  Gather the Pixies and be prepared to leave within the hour.”

“I would not tell Master Roane of what transpired here m’lady.”

“I would keep this between you and I alone, Freya.”

“As you wish, Lady Kitin, perhaps you should don your gloves before reaching camp.”

An excerpt from Fall of Ia

This is just a little teaser to give a taste of some of the Moon characters....any feedback is appreciated!

Pallia’s bandaged feet throbbed as she was led down the eldenwood stairs of the head councilman’s cottage.  Her eyes adjusted to the candlelit hearthroom and were drawn to the large obsidian hearth.  She glanced about, taking in her surroundings, avoiding the watchful eyes.  Pallia was seated on violet velvet cushions and sipping on jasmine tea while the others settled in various seats around her.  The room was simply decorated aside from the extravagant hearth.  Heavy woolen draperies covered the large windows, their indigo hue brightened by the violet firelight.  Pallia noticed various pelts hung upon the walls and a small simple altar in the corner with an etching of a young maiden illuminated by a jasmine candle.  There were some toys scattered about a small playpen in another corner and Pallia felt a pang in her chest. 

A throat cleared to her left and Pallia could avoid the situation no longer.  She raised her eyes to the nearest Council member, Krester, her host, taller and broader than the others.  He bowed low, returned to the mantle and prodded the logs with a cast iron poker.  Kitin followed, a spindly, sprite-looking female with eyes as blue as mooncups and snow white hair that was braided tightly in an elaborate pattern.  She was dressed in the manner of a warrior, a mirin-hide corset as colorless as her hair and trimmed in the same blue as her eyes.  A deep indigo tunic, leggings, gloves, and matching boots covered the rest of her.  Scythe-knives were slung at her hips and the intricate ivorn handle of a battle sword was just visible over her shoulder.  Kitin sat stiffly upon a stool and folded her arms across her chest. 

The Twins, Dane and Roane, matched in every way from the pewter braids upon

Beyond the twins were Isla and Jerin, the eldest of the Council, and oldest mated couple in Isthile.   Pallia received Isla first, a natural beauty with indigo eyes a stunning contrast against her pale ivory skin, marred only by the emergence of fine wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and lips.  Isla's emerald satin gown licked the bottom of her proud chin and followed every curve to her knee where it flared softly and trailed out behind her.  Pallia was awed at the grace with which Isla moved, how her silver hair swung freely across her back and glistened in the firelight.  At Isla's elbow, Jerin was slightly taller but otherwise colored, dressed, and built like his mate with the same austere presentation.  Fitted emerald tunic upon matching leggings and dark olive boots to his knee, a broadsword was slung at his hip though Pallia supposed Jerin would never find need to wield it; Jerin's shield spell was well known in Isthile.

Elnor approached the Priestess next, nearly as tall as Krester but more wiry, clean shaven, hair cut just above his shoulder and eyes that flashed silver.  His tunic was of gray satin with a jeweled collar and mirin-skinned leggings.  Elnor took her hand, pressed his cool lips to the tips of her fingers and nodded tightly.  His mouth opened as the cottage door flew inward against the wall and sent a small quake through the room.

In strode the largest creature Pallia had ever imagined.  He – it? – ducked beneath the archway and into the hearthroom, easily towering over Elnor and Krester.  The stranger was wider than both men together with onyx-colored hair curling wildly about his head and face, a ragged beard nearly hid his mouth, and he wore tattered clothing of various hides haphazardly stitched with mirin-hair.  His eyes were strange and wild, flashing silver then onyx as he turned his head to face each Council member in turn.

“Whas da’ meanin’ o’ dis?  Why di' ‘ur yun ‘un wake me wit nonsense o’ a Priestess fled da Temple ‘n’ why’d ya’ think I’d care a lick?”

~ Estelan Series, Book 1, Fall of Ia